Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Putting BenGay on My Bruised Ego

All this time I've been walking around believing I was in great shape. Yes, I'll even confess to being a bit smug about this. "Ha! I can go out and run five or six miles, easy-peezy." I've patted myself on the back as I run by darkened houses first thing in the morning or when a driver stares at me in surprise on frigid mornings or when the rain is pouring down and I'm running.

Then I met Shaun T... Well, I didn't actually meet him. To my amazement, one morning I was sitting and watching an informercial about the Insanity Workout. Usually I laugh at these kinds of things but then there were these people who kind of looked like me, in relatively good shape but soft and a little flubby around the edges and I was sitting on the edge of my couch.

Here's a bit of background: I was that woman other women hated. I could eat like a truck driver and never gain a pound.  Four weeks after giving birth to my daughter, I went to my high school reunion and no one believed I had been pregnant. I had to show them pictures. Two years after she was born I ran the NYC Marathon.

The weight didn't leave me as quickly with my second child but he was a giant baby. At my highest, I was 180 pounds while carrying him. This was more than 60 pounds over my normal weight. But the weight did come off.

At 39, giving birth to my youngest, I discovered my body just wasn't rebounding with the same quickness and I have to admit I slacked off. Living in the country, I found myself not getting outside and walking the way I did with my other two kids. I didn't run with any regularity. I didn't do anything with any regularity but I could still look at myself and feel I was in great shape compared to most people living around me. Sure I could stand to lose some weight but I can still get out there and run miles or kick butt on the elliptical machine at the gym.

But something was missing.... I didn't have the same power. My body wasn't as lean as it was and there was this annoying little pooch in my mid-section. And that's when Shaun T came in with his promises of strength and power. The brilliance of this informecial is that the producers didn't decide to only focus on overweight people to show the transformative powers of their fitness system but showed people who were obviously athletic and active people, like me. I closed my eyes and made the purchase.

Of course I sat with the DVD's hidden for two weeks embarrassed to admit I purchased something from an informercial (I still hide my LintLizard after each use). Then I put in the first DVD with the fit test and I scoffed- actually scoffed at it. Nothing seemed particularly challenging- squats, jumping jacks, ha! Then I did the Fit Test on Saturday and it kicked my butt hard. I haven't made sounds like that since I was giving birth. The next day, I could barely walk I was so sore. I skipped the next day DVD because of scheduling conflicts and the fact that I couldn't lift my leg without wincing. Yesterday I did the first Plyometric/Cardio DVD and had to scream uncle- I am not in shape!!!

Today is DVD #2. Hopefully my dog won't need to come over and lick my face as I lay prone on the floor unable to move. Thank goodness I can curl up in a fetal position in the luxury of my own home.

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