Sunday, April 17, 2011

It's Opposite Day

So in the midst of that confused mental state between waking a sleeping, I had a vision.

Well... perhaps I might have still been sleeping since my guinea pig Costanza was talking to me... but that's no matter it still makes sense in a backwards kind of logic. You may need to hold on to something to follow the thought patterns here.

So while conversing with Costanza, this image of George Costanza from Seinfeld pops into my waking consciousness. (Background info here: All of my guinea pigs are named after Seinfeld characters.) There's George sitting in the diner with Jerry bemoaning his pitiful life. And Jerry tells him he should do the opposite of what he would normally do.


It's a true Yoda moment.

George starts doing the opposite of what he would normally do. He winds up leaving the diner with a beautiful woman, lands a job with the Yankees, and gets his own apartment.

In the haze of early morning light, I wake up. I will become Costanza (the Seinfeld character, not the guinea pig. I will do the opposite of what I normally do (procrastinate) and (procrastinate even more). I won't complain. I'll balance between chores and playing. I'll write. Hell, I'll even shave my legs.

Today will be a grand experiment. If it works, you'll see me sitting on the couch on "The View" plugging my wildly successful self-help book, "What I Learned from George Costanza) while carrying Costanza is my designer guinea pig carrying bag by Chanel. I'll become a celebrity and cast-worthy enough for "Dancing With the Stars."

I'll tweeting updates throughout the day.

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