Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Realizing I'm Human

Classes start next week and I have come to the realization that I am not a superwoman. I am a mere mortal. As much as I would like to be back at school full-time it is impossible. I have three children at home, along with an elderly mother and exceedingly moody husband paralyzed by inertia. Oh, and I'm trying to complete a novel.

For three semesters I've carried a full-time load. I've stressed, put more gray hair on head, gained weight, ceased exercising, and tried to mainline caffeine. I've done all-nighters to make deadlines and all-nighters because I couldn't shut my brain off. I just don't want to do it again. I love school but I could do without the added baggage of my life.

Now I have to figure out which classes to keep and which ones to take at a later date. This is no easy decision since I've had each of these professors before and I find them all exceedingly stimulating. But the idea of opening up my schedule and having more time to write is incredibly attractive.

Since my youngest child attends preschool on campus, I will wind up with FREE TIME. This is time outside of the distractions of my house- no laundry, no cleaning or cooking, no interruptions. I will potentially have at least two to three hours each day for writing- like a real professional. This is quite exciting since I lost my office to my mother's arrival.

Sounds like a no-brainer, then why am I stressing over this. Is it because I secretly don't want to admit I can't do it all? I so like wearing the cape.

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